Stuck in the Zone

So here I am. Stuck in the dreaded friend zone. I have listened and counseled on other girls, I have laughed until my sides hurt, I have opened up my heart. All I have to show for it is a deep and effortless friendship, which I know is lucky in itself. But what happens when one person wants more? What happens when he talks about this other girl and I have to force myself to smile and nod and say all the right things a true friend would say?


When did the lines get crossed? One day, I am walking along in  my own world, proud of myself. Single Girl. That's me! I can do it on my own. I've already experienced love, loss and all that's in between. I don't want another relationship! I don't have time for that! Besides...my heart is closed for business. Especially to someone who I would have never in a million years thought of in "that way". No spark.

Years of hello's, hows it going, lots of hw, me too, thats cool, see ya around's and nothing. nada. No butterflies.

But, the power of suggestion has such a hold on me that it caused these thoughts to swirl around in my head, distracting me from everything else I should be focusing on such as the fact that he most likely doesn't look at me at all this way. I would be mortified if he found out my true feelings, a friendship made awkward and tense. How do we tell someone we want to give them our heart? We want to be there for them and support them and just feel openly.


If all the signs are pointing at us being perfect together then why can't he see it? My heart threatens to flutter out of my chest, my palms get sweaty, I crave time with him. Does he? Does he consider me?