This week, on a more personal level, has been quite the roller coaster ride. There is a person who we shall call "Rick Blaine" (it should be noted that I LOVE Casablanca...obviously). Anyways, Mr. Blaine has been coming back around after a very long, much needed hiatus. Although there has been much healing, forgiveness and growth, this week has seriously thrown me for a loop. Certain actions and words and simple gestures have caused me to do a figuritive double take.
So I am constantly reminding myself to remain guarded and as my friend Matt told me last night on a fabulous walk...to think with my head right now. Not my heart. Which is much harder for me than I ever thought possible.
I guess I am probably exhausted and most likely not making any sense. Between the christmas parties and bridal showers and dead week and "Rick Blaine" coming around all week long I am in an emotional whirwind. Last night Matt was telling me about how guys handle things and he completely shed a huge light on some of what happened last year in regards to "Rick", being that they are good friends. It was completely a surprise and a huge part of my healing that has been going on the past couple weeks. It would have made last year much more managable if this would have gotten to me at that time, but I realized that God must have known that this would be better timing, for some reason. Who knows. I am so tired.
However, now that I know what was really going on behind closed doors with "Rick" it makes the second guessing and the questioning harder to ignore.
What is also hard to ignore is his fabulous, skinny, blonde, tall girlfriend.
