i am so glad i am not engaged right now. The idea of planning two of these massive type events makes me want to check into a mental hospital. i am glad that i have amazing friends and boy(s) to calm me down and hug me and make me laugh and help me makes me a very grateful girl.

also. i think i may have found someone who knows all my fears and insecurities and who doesnt care and who is willing to work through that with me. and this makes me both happy and scared out of my flippin mind.