I am in the middle. a constant transition. i have no idea what i am going to do and where i am going to do it and i know i keep saying this but it hasnt changed. then i realized...part of the fear, most of it comes from the fact that even i dont know what i want to do.

i want to go back to florida. badly.

i want to stay in santa cruz.  badly.

but..i want to go to grad school in chicago.

and, i want to do the internship in hawaii.

i want to live on a farm in fresno.

but i want a flower shop.

i want to live in a big city.

i want to travel and write.

but i also want to settle down.


essentially....i want adventure. but i also want stability.