I got my camera back...finally (although dropping 250 for it suckkkkeed BUT its nice to have it done. When I gave him my cash Jeci said "well looks like you need to downsize your crap your moving" haha so true. and done.)
look how wonderful:
I also stopped by the BU bookstore after work because Jeff is leaving (the manager) and he is really sweet. So I went to say good bye to him. We talked a bit because I would always be in there visiting Dave during the semester and therefore Jeff and I became friends. Anyways..all semester I would come in and look at this particular book :
But I never had money to buy it. Anyways..super sweet Jeff gave me a huge discount (that he probably shouldnt have but it was his last day so who cares!) and I got it. I am so excited. I was walking to my room for my lunch break and already got through a chapter. Here's a tidbit: "What I find interesting is the simple thought that the Christians didnt name themselves. But rather they were called "Christians" by those watching thier lives. I wonder if it would be the same today...the life that Jesus calls us to is absolute craziness to the world. Sure its fine and politically correct to believe in God to really love Him is a whole different story. Yeah its nice and generous to give to the needy at Christmas or after some disaster but to sacrifice your own comfort and welfare for another may look like madness to a safe and undisturbed world...." (and from the back cover) "The answer to religious complacency isnt working harder at a list of do's and dont's- it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, you will never be the same. Because when youre wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."
I am totally stoked to start reading this. BUT even better...(this might be gross in a sec, wait for it) I got a new Bible! for 10 bucks! I am actually someone who loves a really worn in Bible and looovveedd the one I had during my time in college. I got it for my 18th birthday and it was perfect. Big font, perfect size, leather. I had brochures and pamphlets from churches all over the world (literally). I had my Bible class notes all over the pages. But then...when I went to clean my car one day, it was covered in green fuzzy stinky mold. Thanks car that floods and molds every single time it rains. I sprayed it with vinegar like I always do to my car and still the mold stayed. I air dried it, and tried to scrub the mold off but to no avail. It was a very disturbing moment for me to throw it away the other day but I figured no one would apreciate me taking that to church. Today, however I was totally blessed once again by Jeff with a smaller version of the same Bible! for 11 dollars no joke. I had a hard time spending money on these two books today actually because money is so tight but I knew I couldnt pass this up. I am in love with this Bible and since I have no car anymore hopefully it will stay mold free :(
I had a lightness today that I havent had all summer. I even had therapy and was able to just sort through layers and layers and be grateful and I was excited to realize the growth that has already happened. It's almost like when you diet and feel no difference because it happens so slow but then you go to put on your favorite jeans and they barely stay on. Suddenly you are encouraged and want to keep going. That was today. (although I have gained 10 pound this summer so that sucks haha..I CANT WAIT FOR MY GYM ahhhhhhagalkjsdflkjei21094)
Anyways. therapy. It was like those jeans. My heart has little flip flops that resemble the butterflies of a new crush but there is no boy in sight. Just the glimpse of my old self. Before the exhaustion, before the heartbreak, before the assault. A glimpse of my True Self: joyful, childish, excited, passionate, strong (willed haha), reflective, compassionate, creative. Sides of me that I have almost had to cover up with a serious self and busyness and realism since long before I can remember.
Today was a great day. Thank you Jesus.
