This book is called Winter Grace and its about sprituality and aging. Honestly I completely judged it by its cover. It looked like the kind of book your church would sell in the back for five bucks (except it goes for much, much more in a college bookstore). Flowers on the front, cursive title, written by someone named Kathleen. BUT...my mistake. I actually like it. The chapters are short (good for those of us with A.D.D.) and it really makes you think. Even if you are neither aging nor spiritual.
“Wisdom”
On page thirty one, the author mentions how loneliness can mean something different depending on the person’s age. This stuck out to me a lot in how it can also mean something different depending on a person’s situation. Often loneliness can mean simply being or feeling alone in the physical manner. When a person is cooped up by themselves they can begin to feel depression and apathy. Being a person who get refueled by my alone time this can often set in when I am “recharged” and no one is around. Within moments I can go from being at peace to feeling extremely lonely. Being emotionally lonely is another aspect of this idea. A person going through a hard situation can feel alone as a result of feeling like they are the only person dealing with that burden at the moment. Even if people around them acknowledge the feeling, they will never know “how it feels”. Personally, I have always thought that loneliness was one of the most tortuous feelings in the world. To feel as though you are unable to interact with humans around you, or as though you have to carry a burden on your own is enough to cause anyone to despair.
"Prayer"
Prayer, another topic that was addressed in this chapter, is such a complex and intriguing one to me. As a kid I always viewed it as a very formal process. As I got older and more aware of the sins in my life, I would often feel like I was unable to pray unless everything was “right” in my heart and life-almost too ashamed and discouraged from praying. Now I relish in my prayer life. It often is the sole reason I am able to get through the day. The book discusses how we should never focus on how we feel during prayer, that God cares about our feelings, our finances etc. I have had moments of simply sharing my feelings with Him, not asking anything in return or praising. Simply sharing. The moment first happened last week, actually, and I was blown away when I realized that He cared about my tears and that it was ok to not want any answers or actions on His part. I just needed to cry out.
"Love"
In the chapter, its mentioned that compassion is the ability to feel someone's pain but to add another dimension to it. This extra piece to the idea of compassion is to also make that person's pain your own. I thought about this in terms of various relationships, but then in the bigger context as well. My generation is extremely focused on social justice and about being intentional with what they study and how they make an effect on the world. However, I do feel that while the actions are great, is the compassion truly there? Do we join these groups and march on the streets and spend hours on fundraisers because it is trendy? Or do we feel the pain of those we are trying to help? It may be a little bit of both. And for those who feel no need to be passionate about helping others and who also call themselves a follower of Christ, I really wonder if they understand the level of compassion He has for his people.
"Humor"
"Laughter is the best medicine". This rings true no matter what age or what hurt you are trying to heal. A little child with a scraped knee, a bad grade, a broken heart, and the end of one's life can all be eased if one can just continue to keep laughing. In my life, some of the best moments were not ones in which something "huge" or life altering happened. Often it was when I was with friends or my family laughing so hard that my sides hurt. That laughter where eyes sparkle. Where for just that one moment life is perfect. It is in these moments where more healing can take place than a hundred momentsof tears or anger.
However, on page 132 of this chapter, I was suprised to realize something very obvious. In every moment, through every feeling we expect for it to be wrapped around a single feeling. We are either happy or bitter or broken or in love or out of love. It is pointed out how not only do we feel this way towards emotions but as a result we try to change it in other people. Hence why when a person is feeling discouraged we try to cheer them up rather than to simply understand and accept that feeling. I feel that if we stop trying to help as much or to alter a person's emotions, we could all learn that it is perfectly ok to just, be. Be whatever we are at that moment.
Also..EVERYONE needs to read Tuesdays with Morrie. It will change your life. Seriously.